Welcome to the space where I come to play! I park the really fun stuff here that publishers won’t print in magazines and books! Feel free to comment and join in the fun.
Rocky was an asshole. He terrorized me for an entire summer. All ten pounds and one foot of him.
My kids and I were talking about how you’re supposed to stand up to bullies. And my seven year old son asked me if I’d ever been bullied. Well, no, not exactly. Not by another kid. But there was this one summer when my life was made a living hell by Rocky the Rooster.
Read MoreMy husband says I can’t bang out a blog post or polish off my novel because I’m too distracted by wine. Um, no, I have other legitimate distractions.
Read MoreWhen I showed up to work in September and saw they officially changed my name I almost vomited all over my laptop.
I agreed to this back in June and I wasn’t even drinking at the time. Then I kind of forgot about it. I didn’t think they’d actually do it!
How do you reconcile two clashing identities? Easy. Just change the name of one of your identities.
Read MoreMy screenwriting partner Rebecca and I have just delivered another draft of the screen adaptation for The Prairie Bridesmaid.
We’ll launch into some more revisions soon, but I’ve had time to reflect on the whole experience. It’s a lot like performing a variety of surgical procedures on a close family member. In my case, with very little training or experience.
Read MoreEvery January I make a truckload of resolutions and then break all of them within the first two weeks. This year I've devised a bunch of Reverse Psychology Resolutions. So when I break them, I will actually be tricking myself into better behaviour. Brilliant!
Read MoreUsually when people write these holiday newsletters, they are full of all sorts of cheery updates and accomplishments— mainly designed to show off and make the reader feel bad about their own year. Who wants to read that?
I think it would be far more useful to write about the year’s fuck ups and failures. The first Annual Krause- Salamon newsletter, by design, will make you feel better about your own life.
Read MoreFa la-la-Ia Ia, la-la la-la, ‘Tis the season for— Con Artists.
“Excuse me, I’m so sorry to bother you, but I’m picking my kids up from the babysitter, I've lost my wallet and I’m short eight dollars for my cab fare. This is embarrassing, but would you mind lending me the money?” a woman who looked like she’d just stepped out of The Bay catalogue asked.
Read MoreI didn't write an original blog post this week,
but I watched and read a lot of shit Online.
Does that count?
Here is my round up of stuff I wish I came up with:
Read MoreInstead of cursing your cold, sorry ass, Winter, and spending four months fantasizing about living somewhere hot - I am taking you on. And I will defeat you. I will bring you to your knees.
This is my Winter Bucket List (or as I like to call it Winter Fuck-It List). It will keep me so busy, and having so much fun that I will be sad when the snotcicles melt.
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