Signs of Spring in Winnipeg
Every single car in the Costco parking lot is caked in brown mucky shit and looks identical. Spring is the only time that my crappy 13 year old Honda Civic turns into a 2016 BMW V25 PoPo.
The aesthetician won't return my calls. She wants nothing to do with a vagina that's been in "warmth mode" for 6 months. "Jeez, cut that thing back a little before you show up here," she'll say when I do finally get in for my spring rip and strip. If you've never read the Winter Vagina post...there's no time like the present to be horrified by my winter den.
Getting lectured by a crabby MPI agent about not driving for the "conditions" when you have gumption to ask if they might fix the wobble in your front end after you drove into a pothole the size of a Phuket. ("Wobble in the front end" sounds suspiciously similar the kind of action that takes place in the Winter Den.)
Enough snow has melted so that you can see the tops of the bus shelters . At least I think they're bus shelters...too busy driving around in my 2016 BMW 325 PoPo to notice.
I start circling the Bar Italia patio like a bat at a mosquito festival, hallucinating about cocktails a full 3 months before they've even put the chairs out.
Minus 5, no windchill and the Slurpees, muscle shirts and misspelled tattoos are out in full force!
This beauty was done at the
in my back parking pad.
The Winnipeg Jets didn't make the play offs. Again. Gotta wait another 5 months for $9 beers. (I do hope they prove me wrong!)
My personal favourite - unprovoked goose attacks.
The annual Feral Kitten Rodeo under my shed makes its debut appearance. I try and trap the feisty little fuckers in an attempt to prevent the raccoons from turning them into tapas.
People finally stop comparing Winnipeg to Mars on social media, but they start comparing it to a sewer. Love me, Love my Winnipeg.
This is how we do spring.
Got any other signs of spring in Winnipeg? Comment away!