So, you work on a book for over 3 years. Boom. You finally finish. Your agent sends it off to publishers. And then…. you wait. You wait.

(Very Questionable) Things to Occupy Your Time While Waiting to Hear Back from Publishers About Your New Novel:


1. Drink.

2. Watch all those great cult TV shows that everyone else was watching while you were trying to write your damn book, but now they’re totally outdated – like The Wire. In about 7 years you’ll watch Game of Thrones.

3. Yell at your kids.


4. Get a new piercing. Yeowwwww.


5. Drink more.

6. Work out obscenely – get an ab to poke through all the fat.

7. Sort through all the old prescription drugs in the medicine cabinet. Start taking the ones that are less than 3 years expired.

8. Try and write a short story using only text from wine labels.

9. Bum a cigarette while in line at the bar, for the first time in a decade, from a 20 year old, and then proceed to light the filter in front of her.

10. Bite your nails. Chew your cuticles. No, literally chew off the tip of your pinky.

11. Ooooh. Ooohh…here’s a good one. Create a website and blog! Hope people read it and post all sorts of warm and fuzzy messages!


I still have another week to kill so I am very open to new ideas at this point!